1. |
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I'm not easily scared
By things that go bump in the night
There's not many things
That give me a fright
I can walk down a lonely block
And not a lot can make my old knees knock
But, there's one thing that scares me the most
Is when I think I see a ghost and
I thought I saw you last night
I thought I saw you last night
I've been lately thinking
About a Ouija board
And maybe contacting
Your soul ceded by the lord
'cause all the shadows on my street
That bring with sounds of shuffling feet
But, there's one thing that scares me the most
Is when I think I see a ghost and
I thought I saw you last night
I thought I saw you last night
Throw salt over my shoulder and knock on wood
Don't step on cracks, but it does no good
I drink a bourbon to calm my nerves
Read an old book and chant some verse
Hold hot coals in the middle of my fist
Take advice from my exorcist
Hallelujah
Hail mary
Holy moley
This is scary
For instance, last night
I went to a scary movie
And I tried real hard
Not to let it get to me
But, I just kept looking over my shoulder
The wind got hands and I got colder
But, there's one thing that scares me the most
Is when I think I see a ghost and
I thought I saw you last night
I thought I saw you last night
I'm not easily scared
By things that go bump in the night
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2. |
Whiter Shade of Pale
04:51
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We skipped the light fandango
turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
but the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
as the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
the waiter brought a tray
And so it was that later
as the miller told his tale
that her face, at first just ghostly,
turned a whiter shade of pale
She said, 'There is no reason
and the truth is plain to see.'
But I wandered through my playing cards
and would not let her be
one of sixteen vestal virgins
who were leaving for the coast
and although my eyes were open
they might have just as well've been closed
She said, 'I'm home on shore leave,'
though in truth we were at sea
so I took her by the looking glass
and forced her to agree
saying, 'You must be the mermaid
who took Neptune for a ride.'
But she smiled at me so sadly
that my anger straightway died
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3. |
One of Us
05:26
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If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with Him in all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
And yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Tryin' to make his way home?
If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see if, seeing meant
That you would have to believe in things like heaven
And in Jesus and the saints, and all the prophets?
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
And yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Tryin' to make his way home?
Just tryin' to make his way home
Like back up to heaven all alone
Nobody callin' on the phone
'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome
:::::: My extra verse :::::::
If God had a house, what would it be like?
Would he sit on the roof, to watch creation burn?
Would he hide in the hallway so he couldn't hear you asking
"What would Jesus do"?
::::::::::::::::::::::::
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
And yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Tryin' to make his way home?
Just tryin' to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just tryin' to make his way home
Nobody callin' on the phone
'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome
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4. |
RE Your Brains
04:38
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Heya Tom, it's Bob from the office down the hall
It's good to see you buddy, how've you been?
Things have been OK for me except that I'm a zombie now
I really wish you'd let us in
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demand
But here's an FYI: you're all gonna die screaming
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I don't want to nitpick, Tom, but is this really your plan?
Spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that's OK for now but someday you'll be out of food and guns
And you'll have to make the call
I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough
You never had the head for all that bigger picture stuff
But Tom, that's what I do, and I plan on eating you slowly
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I'd like to help you Tom, in any way I can
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me
I'm not a monster Tom, well, technically I am
I guess I am
I've got another meeting Tom, maybe we could wrap it up
I know we'll get to common ground somehow
Meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues who were chewing on the doors
I guess we'll table this for now
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well
Thank you for your time I know we're all busy as hell
And we'll put this thing to bed
When I bash your head open
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
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5. |
Isn't it a pity?
06:44
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Isn't it a pity
Now, isn't it a shame
How we break each other's hearts
And cause each other pain
How we take each other's love
Without thinking anymore
Forgetting to give back
Isn't it a pity
Some things take so long
But how do I explain
When not too many people
Can see we're all the same
And because of all their tears
Their eyes can't hope to see
The beauty that surrounds them
Isn't it a pity
Isn't it a pity
Isn't is a shame
How we break each other's hearts
And cause each other pain
How we take each other's love
Without thinking anymore
Forgetting to give back
Isn't it a pity
Forgetting to give back
Isn't it a pity
Forgetting to give back
Now, isn't it a pity
What a pity
What a pity, pity, pity (ad nauseam)
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6. |
Hello Cruel World
04:48
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haven’t done as well as I thought I would
I’m not dead but I’m damaged goods
And it’s gettin’ late
I’m a rusty hinge, a squeaky wheel
at the bad end of a shaky deal
cursed by the hand of fate
and ooooooh – I’m a very lucky girl
yeah ooooooh – hello cruel world
I’m a ticking clock, a losing bet
a girl without a safety net
I’m a cause for some concern
You don’t live this long without regrets
Telephone calls you don’t wanna get
Stones you’d rather leave unturned
but ooooooh – the grain of sand becomes the pearl
yeah ooooooh – hello cruel world
some folks go the easy route
numb the pain or put the lights out
either way they got to go
me I’m gonna stick around
in for a penny in for a pound
cause I hate to miss the show
and ooooooh – I’m a very stubborn girl
yeah ooooooh – hello cruel world
hello cruel world
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Ian Bourne Nuneaton, UK
Acoustic artist, performing quirky (and often obscure) covers and moody original songs, usually solo, but sometimes with a
variety of friends.
Musician, nice guy, photographer, husband, father, temporary world citizen, unwilling future corpse
... more
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